im so glad to have known someone it was so hard to say goodbye to
Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "~Alicia~" journal:
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i just recently discovered a new emotion i feel. do you know when people invite you along because they feel they HAVE to? and you are the third wheel? and then they try to make u feel better after being the third wheel and you know that all they have for you is pitty and not real love or like for you... wow that really sux. it hurts like u cant imagine. it is like the worst type of regection ever. you feel so low and self concious and like you dont really matter to anyone. you just want to crawl into a corner and cry because those people or person makes you feel so horrible... well that was my day yesterday, and now that i have vented i feel better!
oh! haha i almost forgot... and i lost my pants, belt and sunglasses on the james river when i went tubing!!! joy!
Current Mood: grrrrrrrrr
Current Music: whisper song
ummm so yeah camping was fun... hehe we went out after the storm was over and got a lil bit tipsy. yeah that was great. i luv my les no and nay. the 4th is gunna rock! getting plastered!! hell yah! anyways i got to get back to my cleaning so i can go out tonight. mwah
Current Mood: energetic
Current Music: boom boom boom boom~venga boys
yeah naomi, leslie, and i are planning to camp in my back yard right by my lake. we are kinda scared right now because there is a lightening storm... there is thunder and lightening and rain all around us, what will we do?? will alicia, nay and les No survive this horrible storm? or will they die and drown in the lake? tune in next week to find out... DUN DUN DUUUNNNN
Current Mood: scared
Current Music: sex on the beach~ venga boys
eww i am really sick of all these immature tenth grade guys who think they are all that... they need to grow up and get over themselves. i cant believe i liked them in the first place, gross!
before all this horrible drama: i had a terrific night with a great guy who shhhhh i really like...
have a great weekend ya'll!
i thought life was great, but then it wasnt anymore... that kinda sucked/sucks
yeah pretty much no good news except for i kicked ass on my debate today for pro life abortion-kicked absolute ass... lol im a lil proud
i really dont know what i do wrong? why does she get all they guys? is she prettier than i am? is it because she is a virgin? is it because she is blonde and british??? i really just dont understand and i dont know how much longer i can deal with it. i am so lonely and they just dont understand. they think i am being mean or bitchy, but i cant help it, i want what they have. i dont know what they have that i dont, but i want it... i need it, soon. wow, i just dont even know
i love rambling on about things people cant understand about me. character traits that i have and not many people know about them. i feel like crying.
i love being able to ignore peoples calls, just to make them wait.
Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: green day
life is crazy! i cant believe how fast this school year has gone by, i will have been here for almost a year soon... wow. i dont feel like i have accomplished anything since i have been here, which really sucks. i have met some awesome people but i havent fallen in love or got a job or gotten super grades... i feel so unaccomplished, sigh. i am definately going to change that next year, it will be my junior year and i need to step up and really get going in life.
speaking of getting going in life, i got my permit finally! lol i love driving so much
i just dont understand where time went...
i have this friend and i feel that she is really self-centered lately, like nothing i do is good enough for her, and all she wants to do is talk about herself and her problems, and everything we do is for her. i love her to death and she is my best friend, but it is really bugging me. i dont know what to do...
i heart you all
Current Mood: for what i dont know
Current Music: what it is ho
omg this weekend was AWESOME!! like you have no idea... again i say, lacrosse boys are hott and i hung out with three of the hottest on saturday-AHHH... sorry anyways, they are soooo cute! that made my weekend!
me: where are you going???
naomi(as she is walking toward my lake): im going backpacking!
i love my life
Current Mood: dorky
Current Music: green day
wow.. lacrosse boys are hot, thats all i have to say about that!
well i am sitting in spanish right now, all done with my cinco de mayo project, listening to slightly stoopid~the rock my sox! hehe stoner music.... life is so crazy i went home at 10pm last night after being at school all day, didnt finish any of my homework, yeah that is the way to live lol. we have a paying audience TOMMORROW night and we havent run through the whole thing yet, yeah we will be ready all right... we have so many make-up changes and costume changes, i dont know how we are going to do it.
but anyways enough about the show, i am surprisingly getting a better report card this six weeks, so i think my mom will finally let me get my learners permit, that would make me so happy! i love driving, it makes me happy, like i am in control and have more responsibility and trust. so invigorating.
i dont understand guys, they want you to "hook up" with them or whatever, but of course the girl wants a relationship, and the guy would probably get so much more "ass" if he just put in the extra effort and went out with the girl. ARGH it just agrivates me and makes me think that all guys are ass holes and really dont care about anyone but themselves... that is why i have decided to become a lesbian. ha just kidding! but for real, guys are dogs.... lol
i kinda like not having to depend on a guy to make me happy or call me everynight and talk to me and tell me i am pretty or whatever. it is so superficial and all girls do it for is to make themselves feel better. love is suppose to be a self-less act, and what girls are doing now is not self-less it is self-ish. and i frankly dont want a part in it.
im in a really weird mood right now, i want to go and cause trouble or do something that potentially get me in trouble... is that a bad thing? i just want to do something spontaneous and crazy. virginia bores me. i love it, but it bores me. there is really nothing to do but drink or do drugs or "hook up". EVERYONE does one of the three things, or all of the three ALL the time. it kinda makes me laugh because back in LA there were the "drugies" or the "drinkers' or the "straight edgers" but here everyone is just bad. lol
i need to get a job, i feel like a bum....
holy shit, im getting bitched at by the substitute... *mUaH*
Current Mood: 6 1/2 cups of coffee... :)
Current Music: green day~ the good old stuff....
for any of u who arent very involved in my life and dont know why i havent posted in almost two weeks, this is why: about two weeks ago i decided to have a little party at my house and decided to invite a bunch of guys and crap, and of course my parents were up stairs, but they werent there... so they had my little brother spy on my from outside yeah i had no idea at the time. so i went in the garage and got one of my dads beers and was drinking it and ha of course my brother went and told my parents, cuz he doesnt have a life of his own and wants to ruin mine. so thats what happened, and i got grouned for two weeks and now i am almost done with my sentence.. lol
but life has been shitty lately, i have felt really alone and like no one really cares to know what is goin on in my mind. ive been doing hair and make-up for the wizard of oz play at school, and it has been soo much fun(besides the sleep deprovation).
ha wow a bunch of black girls (not to be rasist) want (or expressed) that they want beat me up. it brings back so many bad feelings about 8th grade and getting jumped and having such a rough time fitting in. all i want is for people to like and respect me. is that too much to ask? am i that much of a bitch that people hate me that much?? cuz i dont think so...
also, guys are ass holes!! i really cant believe how guys treat girls at my school. i have absolutely no desire to date any of the fags at my school. argh, and i am so lonely and want to be loved that way and want to be held and kissed on my forehead... sigh, i need to stop fantisizing.
but yeah, that has been my life in a nut shell for a week.
came home and cried my eyes out last night and that made me feel better
Current Mood: bleh
Current Music: the postal service
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